heartware

well, i saw this article from somewhere and i think it's great so i decided to 'steal' it and post it up here for everyone to see. enjoy reading and hope you guys got the message in it. God loves you all!
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Customer: I have this new program. I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install it now. What do I do first?

CS Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programmes runningright now. Is it okay to install while they are running?

CS Rep: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see... I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

CS Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off... Can you tell me how?

CS Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary untill GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

CS Rep: Yes it is. You should recieve a message that says it will install for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

CS Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTs in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops. I have an error message already. What should I do?

CS Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says, "ERROR 412 --- PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS." What does that mean?

CS Rep: Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTs but has not yet run on your HEART. It's one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to "LOVE"
your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

Customer: So what should I do?

CS Rep: Can you find the directory called "SELF_ACCEPTANCE"?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

CS Rep: Excellent, you're getting good at this.

Customer: Thanks.

CS Rep: You're welcome. Click on the following files then copy them to the "MY HEART" directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it's completely gone and never comes back .

Customer: Got it. Hey! my HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

CS Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. Oh, and one more thing before I go.

Customer: Yes?

CS Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some realy neat modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you so much...!!!! (SFX: MUAKSS~~*)

CS Rep: Ahahahaa.. *blush*...