I am home alone again. It's ironic enough. This is not even my home but where else can I go? I really miss home. =(
Recently, I am lost in a way I cannot find a way out of this maze. Whenever I look at others' blog, especially Jan, I will wonder how can a person rejoice in the Lord all the time? It's God's grace I know. Of course I know. I mean it has always been in my mind God's way is perfect and without flaws, we therefore should not worry and doubt Him. But you know, as more and more negative facts I discovered, I started to ponder what am I standing on, what am I holding on to. I then found my faith as tiny as the mustard seed, so easily moved. How could a person like me once thought of using my own life as the fifth Gospel to bring non-believers to Christ? I have all the knowledge but what for if it is not even transmitted to my heart? It is the heart that the Lord seeks, not the intelligence. What can I do to win the fight? How should I finish the race with victory?
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