You know, insecurity always sucks. It's the sign of lack of faith, lack of trust. It means to look through the lenses of doubtfulness and fear.
After a few years of waiting, again, He said, "wait for another 3-4 years." It requires great patience and firm faith in waiting for something without solid evidence of it happening after all those delays. Honestly, I am not a very patient person. And I am definitely not the one with greater faith than the others. But I know, God gave me dream and made me ask someone (of higher authority) so that I'll have confirmation that this is the season I must learn to obey and practice self-control. I like how my friend puts it, "Patience is bitter, but it's fruit is sweet." God is a faithful Gardener.
It's a long long journey and it's definitely not an easy one. But in Him I put my trust.
His grace is suffice for me to keep moving.
No regrets.
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