I think I should stop complaining about the trials given to me.

Rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. 

Romans 5:3-5

faith

the one i wish i can hold on to forever...

you cry, 

every tear that drops

your disappointments shown,

because you can dream no more.

i know. it is fear

as dark as a black hole

sucking all the possibilities,

shattering them apart.

but hey,

success isn't the only solution,

neither failure points only towards dead end.

it sounds absurd

but listen:

the road to victory 

is the process of learning to fall.

many knew the truth

yet misintepreted it.

(they fell from cliffs and roofs)

so beware.

we grabbed too many along the journey

until we suffocated ourselves.

perhaps,

it's time to empty our hands,

to fall from our own plans,

to surrender.

it's time to trust.

when everything goes wrong

everyone else was telling stories of how wonderful and interesting their weekends were. i, too, had wonderful time, until i came back to college this evening. no electricity, dust, slippery floor - obviously when i mentioned slippery floor, everyone would think of someone slipped. and that was me. i felt miserable at first. i decided to settle and do my devotion. then i saw the four words on my handphone accessory "常常喜乐" which means rejoice always. indeed everything happens for a reason, or more. perhaps, God wants me to learn to give thanks and rejoice in Him. =)



thank God i did not break my hands and legs (just some little bruises and cuts)
thank God i did not knock my head
thank God i did not break my handphone (i was holding my handphone when i fell)
thank God the night was not hot and it was raining slightly

thank God who taught me how to rejoice in spite of misery

God is good all the time.

a reminder

i finally left the college today, this afternoon, to breathe fresh air (although the air in KL also is polluted). but at least, i am no more inside for now. happy for the non-spicy food, happy for the excellent internet line, happy for being able to go window shopping. hahahah...

i just viewed my brother's blog and suddenly realised that my blog is very dull and not up-to-date. how sad it is to realise the truth. =X so now is the time, to add some fresh "ingredients", but not now obviously.

well, i just finished my trials. no matter how the result may be, i decided to surrender them all to God. for now, i just want to enjoy my super duper short holiday - my precious weekend. tomorrow i am going out with my dear and i really wish that it will be a very exciting and memorable day for both of us.

and one important reminder. i heard from my sister during dinner just now that some "false prophets" came to them and preached to them few days ago. they talked of something that emphasise passover feast (way too much) and baptism "immediately". i think some people really just cannot get themselves to understand the Bible. they just studied a little bit here and there and combined them to become another "true" stories of salvation. indeed the end of the world is coming soon, but that is not for us to predict, because as the Bible says, when the world is towards the end, there will be false prophets and someone claiming themselves as Jesus Christ. as a christian, i am really concern about these. i remember my advisers used to tell us that we ought to equip ourselves with adequate Bible knowledge so that we will know how to tackle the questions. and i think it is extremely important for us to spread the gospel to the non-believers before the false prophets get to them. this cannot be achieved by ourselves, so we need to pray for it and summit everything to God. then what we need to do is allow God to use us as His instruments to touch other lives and let God's will be done.





meditate on God's word alone
and break our hearts for what breaks His

God promises safe landings

i just finished my literature in english trial this afternoon. tomorrow biology paper 2 is waiting for me. scared, worried, of course. i am not a super genius. but i have God, a victorious God. this is what i learned from this season of trial examinations. trust in God, say it and your mean it. i had been grumbling and scolding myself for not being able to achieve what i desired, and what i had been praying for. i was frustrated to be honest. i questioned God whether or not i am His children, just like i asked my parents before when they scolded and punished when i was a child. then i was reminded by the words thrown at me. "you always comfort others by asking them to trust God and He is with them, why cannot you yourself believe at Him in this very moment?" ouch! that really hit me. and it ached. all of sudden i felt as if i am a hypocrite, not doing what i told others i believe in. a sense of guilt filled me and i guessed that was God reminding me of His goodness, that we shall wait and let His will be done. for His way is not our ways and His timing is not ours.

i really thank God for everything when i am backsliding, He sends an angel, or more, into my life and really comfort me and assure me of His great promises.

thank you Father.

Living Water Village trip part 1- the arrival

it was indeed a blessing from above that i was able to join the trip to living water village, kalimantan. i had always wanted to go for a mission trip, and pass the love of God to the others. and i did. just came back to sibu this morning. it was exhausting, but i really could not deny that i learnt a lot from it. i saw God's miracles at work there and i saw how He transformed the lives of the children.



passing the immigrant. one step nearer to my dream.


this was the bus that transported us to our destination. 12 hours plus, yet we survived it. God is good. xD


this narrow, never ending, hole-ful road seems to me just like our journey of life, it is never easy and smooth. sometimes it seems like we are in the midst of nowhere but God is there forever. He guides us and leads us and never abandon us. in the end, we reach our destination safely. having great faith in God is one of the lessons i learnt throughout this trip. thank God for that.


"you are entering miracle zone. proceed at own risk"



we finally enter this wonderful and colourful place after long hours of sitting inside the airless bus dreaming and sleeping. as soon as i stepped out of the bus, energy filled me and i was able to fight for God. it was unbelievable, for me. and the children surrounding the bus made my heart exciting. yea, they were.

Bible, or not?

trying to get myself to spend some time with God everyday. it had been quite a while i abandoned the habit of reading Bible. the Christian in the Christian Fellowship i am currently joining in my college gave me a very big impact on this. i was greatly encouraged by their testimonies and efforts in reading Bible. the feeling if picking up the Bible once again is so wonderful and amazing. i heard God speaking to me through it and also through others. i'm truly blessed!

apart from that, i am going on a mission trip in december. if i don't equip myself with words of God, how am i suppose to lead them closer to Christ? honestly, i really wish that God will make me an instrument of Him to spread His love and grace. i am just a very minor character but still i want to be a blessing to others, no matter it is significant or not. thank God for giving me this opportunity to serve Him. = )


one measure of our love for God is what we are willing to share His word with the others.


God bless you all.

praise the Lord = )

Today is the second last day of my semester examinations. Tomorrow I will be having IELTS both writing and speaking tests. Honestly speaking, I don’t think I’ve done my best in this exam. I didn’t prepare hard enough for it. Regretting now. I should have done better than this. >.< anyway, no point getting sad over it. I need to be more hardworking. Through Christ everything is made possible. I can change my laziness also. Jia you jia you!

Oh ya! Just came back from Christian Fellowship. This was the first time I shared in CF. Everyone is scheduled to share and lead worship, and today It’s my turn. I was so nervous and I really prayed for God to inspire me on what to share. God is indeed gracious and He knows just exactly what others need. He speaks through everyone who is willing to be his instruments to testify for Him and share His love. I did and He worked through me. It was amazing. After sharing although I felt that I bored them I still felt very relieved and happy. Maybe God is asking me to just speak and leave the rest to Him. Really hope that those who heard it will be touched by the Holy Spirit and that their faith may be strengthened. Praise the Lord for everything He does. xD

give thanks with a grateful heart

guess my blog has been collecting dust recently. so sorry. finally finished off my last paper last thursday. i thought i would be very happy and exciting, but i didn't. i wondered why. perhaps, i was too exhausted after the three weeks examination. but i still went out with my friends after that. quite enjoying. we laughed nonstop and the whole place became so noisy because of us. guess what? from early of the thursday morning (that was before i had my examination), till friday night, excluding sleeping hours, i was only staying at home for not more than 5 hours. can you imagine that? went out with friends all day long. hahaha.

well, during the friday night, jan asked me to join them for a thanksgiving dinner, celebrating that the spm had finally became history for us. hehe. altogether there were 8 of us, jan, andrea, pauline, amanda, andrew, elvin, tong kai and i. jan asked us to mention 3 things that we could be thankful of over the past. i knew there were many things that we could be thankful of but my mind just went blank when it was my turn for speaking. weird, huh? maybe it was because they were all speaking in english. shrug. i should really learn to speak in english. oh no... somebody help me...

yea, indeed there are many things that we can be thankful of in our whole life. be it big or small. we can even be thankful of a little piece of biscuit that we are eating. and also for the dawn, it is a new day, right? so why not? we can be thankful for everything and we should be grateful and satisfy even when we are in troubles because troubles bring perseverance and strengthen our faith in God. however, not all of us give thanks always. often i complain too much and forget that my circumstances are still better than others or others are also facing the same problems but they say no complain. so i will learn to be thankful always. please, do remind me if any of you hear me complaining again. thanks.

a simple word of comfort

hehe... don't know how to say. God is simply so amazing. while i am grumbling that there are so many tests and things that yet to be done, through "the verse of the day" there, he told me, "rejoice in the Lord always. i will say it again: rejoice!" and the words comfort my soul, soften my heart. actually i am quite stress, no, very stressful these few days. having second trial now. that's mean the spm is really near now. i study and try to memorize, but everything that i have studied just slip away so easily. i am really very lost. i no longer know what i should do. i keep on trying but keep on failing. i know it is a very common thing for failing something but i just don't get it why i failed everything that i put my effort in. so discouraging. heart aches. what should i do? and everyone just keep on pressurizing me, make me feeling so suffocated. why can't they just be my shelter, be the place where i can relax for a while? i often wonder. then only now i realized that what a fool i am. i forgot to rejoice and give thanks to God, no matter in what circumstances. yes, rejoice. the hardship i will endure, the disasters i will persevere, in Christ. i may complain again but please remind me of your goodness, o Lord.

hit by a simple verse, and i am glad that i am.

a glimpse at the life impact game

life is ever so mysterious. you will never know what is going to happen next. yes, i really experienced that few days ago, in a camp - the life game. it is truly the most amazing camp that i have ever joined. again, i learnt that we are not suppose to live for ourselves, but for God. only He alone deserves our full attention. over and over, i become so proud of myself that i forget about God, forget all the goods he have done for me, forget his grace, forget his undivided love for me yet i am a sinner. then i start to fall, being cheated till the tears of sorrows and guilts fill my eyes. life on this world is not as easy as we think, not everything we want we will surely get it for this world is full of temptations, trials, and trespasses, we may stumble and being fooled. but be strong in our faith. no matter how hard it is, one thing is for sure, God is with us, he will not forsake us. all we have to do is simple trust him and let his will be done through us, obey him. and one thing i discovered through the camp, life is boring without God! you can just do the same old thing over and over again without any purposes. that is what most of the people are doing now. living with no purpose. wealth, status, pride, beauty, high qualification will one day fade away, just like the paper after being burnt, nothing left. the only thing with you till the end is your soul, the one you neglected so much and paid the less attention to. many people gave up half way during the camp, and some died so early that they didn't even have the chance to do things that they want to. then suddenly they realized that they were wrong all the time. life is not about me, me, me, and more me. but it is all about God the Father. i think most of the people regretted in the end of the camp. regretted for not living for God and practising God's words and falling into satan's traps. we died once during the game but still we have the second chance. but this time it is for real. there is no turning back. and no more third time. the first time we were being cheated for not being alert enough. this time we all need to be more watch full not to fall into satan's traps. don't wait until it is too late only that you cry out, "oh Lord, please forgive me. i will repent and i will follow you." we will one day face the day of judgment. no one knows where they will go but there are only two roads for us, back to our home in heaven or be thrown into the lake of fire burning with sulphur. then Jesus said to the disciples, "if any of you wants to be my follower, you must put aside your selfish ambition, shoulder your cross and follow me. if you try to keep your life for yourself, you will lose it. but if you give up your life for me, you will find true life." Christ is waiting for us to turn back to him with his arms open wide. so, live your life for God.


God is moving in this place
when he touches your heart
don't say wait Lord
but say, "here i am, Lord."


p/s. sorry i can't tell you the details of the game. but i strongly recommend you all to join it. you will learn a lot inside and you definitely not going to regret it.